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Friday's Earl Grey Cran-Apple Chutney


Over the course of my 12ish years as a professional chef, I've seriously developed and honed my skills in the arena of bullshitting recipes. Today's fun twist on a super easy favorite is for lazy tea nerds who love to entertain. Here ya go!

Earl Grey Cran-Apple Chutney
12 oz. Cranberries, fresh or frozen
4 Large Fuji apples, diced
3/4 cup Water
3 Star anise pods
1/4 tsp Ground cardamom
2 Cinnamon sticks
2 tsp. Earl Grey tea, tied in a T-Sac or other paper filter

1. Combine everything but the Earl Grey tea in a large saucepan.
2. Bring to a boil.

3. Turn heat down to medium-low, simmer your sauce, covered, for 10 minutes.
4. Add your bag of Earl Grey to the pot, simmer for *exactly* 2.5 minutes.
5. Remove the teabag and continue to simmer, uncovered, for another 10 minutes.

6. Whilst your sauce is simmering, mercilessly tease the small and amiable dog waiting hopefully for a morsel to fall in his eager mouth.

6. Fish out all large spices so you and your loved ones don't choke on anise bits.
7. Ta-da! That's all. That's the whole thing. Perfect for freezing, canning, using as a sauce for pork chops, spreading like jam at teatime...basically whatever!

Much love,


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